15 Additional Fictitious Modern Saints
 |
| Vigil Auntie | AI Generated ATTBS |
- Antsy: patron of altar servers... who cannot sit still for more than 15 seconds. See also: Blessed Fidget.
- Logorrhea: patron of parish council members who monopolize meetings.
- Nix: patron of happy participants in the cancel culture.
- Doofus: co-patron of misguided prelates.
- Mediocrity: patron of liturgists and contemporary architects.
- Crapacious: beloved patron of liberal academics.
- Pseudo-Veritas: patron of mainstream journalists.
- Blessed Perspicuity: patron whose intercession is rarely sought by those who are most in need of rational thought.
- Ignoramus: patron of political debates.
- Goofus: co-patron of misguided prelates.
- Karen: patron of an aggressive species of hyper-vigilant neighbourhood and mall-dwelling self appointed regulators of others' behaviours: see Vigil Auntie.
- The Venerable Tesla: patron of obsessive non-polluters who drive expensive cars that use lithium-ion cells that rely on raw materials — like cobalt, lithium and rare earth elements — that have been linked to grave environmental and human rights concerns.
- Garrulous: patron of loquacious homilists.
- Lady Gaza: performance-artist patron of encampment dwellers.
- Alucinari: patron of those espoused to delusion. Very popular among those harbouring acronymic alphabetical identities.
Further Reading
You might also enjoy:
Popular Posts
Cantius/NLM [ 4 min read ] Some communicants make things interesting (...tricky, delicate, awkward, awesome...) at The Communion. Now don't get the wrong idea. Spoofing one's brothers' and sisters' behaviour is not meant to be proof of one's own moral or spiritual superiority. There's always a need to keep in mind the heart of another when lampooning (or celebrating) the externals, as curious or as laudable as those externals might be. The Moving Target: either the head or the tongue is moving a mile a minute. A good patener knows how to tame the fidget. See also #18: The Rubberneck. The Obstacle Course: fingertips touching the chin or mouth making it difficult for the patener to place the paten beneath the chin. The Curtain: face is completely covered with a veil. The NOFB (Not Open For Business): closed eyes, closed mouth; despite the need for a gentle prompt, typically a deeply reverent person. The Taker: wants to steal the Host from the priest. Note to commu...
... you rarely (if ever) hear the following phrases. "Party like it's A.D. 1570!" "We should sing more plainchant at this parish." "I'd like to thank the choir for their sublime rendition of the Mass For Five Voices by William Byrd." "I just love the way the four torchbearers process in with such dignity." "People treat the Host like a snack. I think it's time we went back to communion on the tongue." "My entire family goes to Confession every week." "We need a central Tabernacle on the altar." "The altar servers' lace cottas are so beautiful." "I just love Father Steve's sermons about the Real Presence and living a Eucharistic life." "People are leaving in droves for Saint Pius X Parish and the reverent Mass there. Do you think we're doing something wrong here at Harvey Milk Parish?" "I'm thrilled that the design for the new church includes a choir loft....
Two copies of the St. Gregory's Prayer Book (SGPB) arrived a few days ago. It is a lovely work replete with beautiful devotions drawn from the English Patrimony. Both Ordinariate and diocesan Catholics would do well to acquire a copy to access its riches. The SGPB is "a collaborative venture" of the three personal ordinariates and the Anglicanorum Coetibus Society . A blurb from the Ignatius Press site where one can go to purchase copies: https://www.ignatius.com/St-Gregorys-Prayer-Book-P3228.aspx The St Gregory's Prayer Book is a beautifully produced leatherette prayer book compiled by the Ordinariates established by Pope Benedict XVI and drawing on the riches of the Anglican liturgical heritage and the exquisite Cranmerian language of the Book of Common Prayer to further enrich the panoply of Catholic liturgy and devotion. The text includes ancient English collects, introits and hymns available together for the first time for the whole Church...
In a movie theatre, you genuflect before entering the aisle to take a seat. Riding a bus, sitting in class or at the doctor's office, and/or when watching TV, you rest your hands palms down on your thighs, finger tips at your knees. You can identify each and every variety of incense used in the Mass simply by its scent. You habitually wear black socks and black dress shoes... even when wearing shorts for gym class or at the beach. You turn a perfect right angle when entering a building. You have nightmares about serving Mass at the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. You hear a bicycle bell ring and you drop to your knees. You can't resist the urge to lift a curtain from the bottom. You have a copy of Ceremonies of the Roman Rite Described by Adrian Fortescue on your smartphone for recreational reading. You have a copy of Ritual Notes (11th Edition) on your smartphone for recreational reading. As a torchbearer, you can carry a processional candle without spilling one dr...
TRUE PARTICIPATION IN THE MASS
"I was gathered into the offering of the Son to the Father. I participated in the self-offering of God today."
FEATURED SCRIPTURE | Revelation 3:1-3
I know your works; you have the name of being alive, and you are dead. Awake, and strengthen what remains and is on the point of death, for I have not found your works perfect in the sight of my God. Remember then what you received and heard; keep that, and repent. If you will not awake, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come upon you.
FEATURED QUOTE
Without a moral framework, there is nothing left but immediate self-indulgence by some and the path of least resistance by others. Neither can sustain a free society. | Thomas Sowell
.jpg)
Comments
Post a Comment
Your comments will be appreciated and posted if 1) they are on topic and 2) preserve decorum.
Stand by your word. Do not be anonymous. Use a pseudonym.