15 Additional Fictitious Modern Saints

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Vigil Auntie | AI Generated ATTBS

  1. Antsy: patron of altar servers... who cannot sit still for more than 15 seconds. See also: Blessed Fidget.
  2. Logorrhea: patron of parish council members who monopolize meetings.
  3. Nix: patron of happy participants in the cancel culture.
  4. Doofus: co-patron of misguided prelates.
  5. Mediocrity: patron of liturgists and contemporary architects.
  6. Crapacious: beloved patron of liberal academics.
  7. Pseudo-Veritas: patron of mainstream journalists.
  8. Blessed Perspicuity: patron whose intercession is rarely sought by those who are most in need of rational thought.
  9. Ignoramus: patron of political debates.
  10. Goofus: co-patron of misguided prelates.
  11. Karen: patron of an aggressive species of hyper-vigilant neighbourhood and mall-dwelling self appointed regulators of others' behaviours: see Vigil Auntie.
  12. The Venerable Tesla: patron of obsessive non-polluters who drive expensive cars that use lithium-ion cells that rely on raw materials — like cobalt, lithium and rare earth elements — that have been linked to grave environmental and human rights concerns.
  13. Garrulous: patron of loquacious homilists.
  14. Lady Gaza: performance-artist patron of encampment dwellers.
  15. Alucinari: patron of those espoused to delusion. Very popular among those harbouring acronymic alphabetical identities.

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