Sui Iuris Catholic Churches
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... you rarely (if ever) hear the following phrases. "Party like it's A.D. 1570!" "We should sing more plainchant at this parish." "I'd like to thank the choir for their sublime rendition of the Mass For Five Voices by William Byrd." "I just love the way the four torchbearers process in with such dignity." "People treat the Host like a snack. I think it's time we went back to communion on the tongue." "My entire family goes to Confession every week." "We need a central Tabernacle on the altar." "The altar servers' lace cottas are so beautiful." "I just love Father Steve's sermons about the Real Presence and living a Eucharistic life." "People are leaving in droves for Saint Pius X Parish and the reverent Mass there. Do you think we're doing something wrong here at Harvey Milk Parish?" "I'm thrilled that the design for the new church includes a choir loft.
Voracious: patron of those with an appetite for in-flight papal news conferences Turpitude and Indecency: patron saints of Hollywood celebrities Duplicitous: patron of unholy synods and certain Jesuits Conspicuous: patron of liturgical dancers and virtue signallers Gaiety: patron of those who take all the fun out of words that were once perfectly acceptable in common parlance Taciturn: patron of those we wish would keep silent Banality and Treacherous: patrons of parish liturgical committees Tepid: patron of politicians Triviality: patron of catechists Hostility and Contentious: patrons of certain usus antiquior Mass enthusiasts Malaprop: patron of theologians spouting half-baked ideas Nutella and Malaria: patrons of advocates for equally disgusting things Bumfuzzle: see Malaprop Finicky: patron of annoyingly fussy types Debauchery: patron of certain prelates
Mickey Sean Winters [ 3 minute read ] Hey Doris, how is it that you always manage to arrive at the beginning of the Gospel, crochet your way through the homily until the Lamb of God, and then vanish right after Communion? Is there some kind of dispensation I don't know about? Mickey, I guess you'll be adding one more item to your confession today, eh? That of cutting in line, aka elbowing one's way in, aka jumping the queue. Have you enrolled your daughter in catechism class? What is catechism?! That's a program to help you mentor your child in the Faith and provides support for your child to help educate her allegedly Catholic parents. Are you new here at Saint Gregory's? You're a regular? It's just that you seem so unfamiliar with the prayers and responses. Ohhh,... you were speaking in tongues. Maybe try sticking to the script. Little Mickey really seems to enjoy causing a commotion during the consecration. That must be frustrating for you and your husban
AI generated image. Prompt: Female minister dancing on altar with incense. The Sign of Peace becomes the Dance of Peace. The tabernacle is not anywhere to be seen. There's no business like show business like no business I know. Everything about it is appealing, everything the pastor will allow. Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow. Blessings of couples in irregular unions doesn't even come close to describing the oddities going on. The altar doubles as a billiard table that is used during meetings of the Knights of Columbus . Unsanctioned modifications to the Mass include they/them pronouns for God and the saints. The statues of Mary and Joseph have been replaced with Murray and Joseph. Traditional liturgical colors have been replaced with an alphabet soup of washed-out tints carefully selected by the Parish Equity, Diversity and Inclusivity Council. The favoured incense is Social Justice Blend... for "High" Mass. Votive and al
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