You Know You're In A Progressive Catholic Parish When... .
- "Party like it's A.D. 1570!"
- "We should sing more plainchant at this parish."
- "I'd like to thank the choir for their sublime rendition of the Mass For Five Voices by William Byrd."
- "I just love the way the four torchbearers process in with such dignity."
- "People treat the Host like a snack. I think it's time we went back to communion on the tongue."
- "My entire family goes to Confession every week."
- "We need a central Tabernacle on the altar."
- "The altar servers' lace cottas are so beautiful."
- "I just love Father Steve's sermons about the Real Presence and living a Eucharistic life."
- "People are leaving in droves for Saint Pius X Parish and the reverent Mass there. Do you think we're doing something wrong here at Harvey Milk Parish?"
- "I'm thrilled that the design for the new church includes a choir loft."
- "Let's commission a mosaic from Marko Rupnik." (Well... okay. The news may have yet to reach some ears.)
- "Those massive video displays either side of the sanctuary are a little distracting. Maybe it's time that we remove them so we can concentrate on praying and directing our attention to the altar."
- "I'd like to introduce our nine children... Peter, Joseph, Anne, Mary, Michael, Jacinta, Raphael, Teresa and Elizabeth."
- "I heard the Bishop is visiting next Sunday and saying Mass ad orientem."
- "I'm so glad we're kneeling for Holy Communion."
- "We have eight young men from our parish in seminary formation."
- "Every evening after dinner our family prays a decade of the Rosary together."
- "My favourite setting of the Gloria is from Missa IV Cunctipotens Genitor Deus."
- "The parish library just acquired a copy of Bishop Athanasius Schneider's latest book."
- "We just started two additional Natural Family Planning classes because we had so many couples sign up."
Conversely, you know you're in a Traditional Latin Mass parish because you rarely (if ever) hear the following phrases.
- "I'm really looking forward to the next banjo Mass."
- "Could you play the organ with more vibrato?"
- "Can we sing some more David Haas songs?"
- "I demand to receive Holy Communion in the hand."
- "I wish there were more Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion."
- "Party like it's 1975!"
- "I just love the Missa Gaia/Earth Mass setting."
- "A blast from the fog machine is a nice touch at the start of the Canon of the Mass."
- "We should hold hands during the Our Father."
- "Aren't Father's polyester rainbow vestments gorgeous?"
- "Tonight our family is watching Godspell on Netflix."
- "Those guitars are so out of tune."
- "Did you see Father Wheeler on his hoverboard at last Sunday's Mass? The homily was so rad!"
- "The LED votive lights are a nice touch."
- "I hear the parish council replaced the statue of Our Lady of Lourdes with a statue of Taylor Swift to attract young people to Mass."
- "Father, is it possible to have Eucharistic Prayer II at Sunday Masses?"
- "I was reading in the National Catholic Reporter that... ."
- "Everyone seems pleased with the new glass tabernacle."
- "We need some felt banners and balloons for the Corpus Christi procession."
- "T-shirts and jeans will be the new altar server vestments."
- "Don't you just love the way Hilda rehearses the congregation for ten minutes before Mass to encourage active participation?"
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