A Porcupine, Committees, And Ditsy Sermons
Let’s be honest, dragging a cheese grater over one's thigh sounds almost appealing compared to enduring those mind-numbing situations foisted upon us by people eagerly awaiting their next chance to be offended. I wish I could be abducted by space aliens before tomorrow's staff meeting. I’d prefer a chaotic audit by rabid raccoons over sitting through yet another speech that starts with, “As we reimagine the paradigm moving forward…”. I'd rather navigate rush-hour traffic using only a treasure map than sit through another committee meeting about creating a committee. I'd rather read the terms and conditions for every app on my phone than hear another sermon that mistakes partisan talking points for divine revelation. I'd rather be stranded at sea with a karaoke machine stuck on The Chipmunk Song than endure another lecture where every disagreement is treated as a full-blown crisis. I'd rather watch Joanie Loves Chachi episodes while folding fitted sheets than a...