19 Sermon Topics Or Book Titles That Might Not Land Well
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| Pope Justin Embracing Nancy | AI image | prompted by Gilbert |
- Man is descended from space aliens.
- The prosperity gospel for greedy Catholics.
- Ten tips for improving the effectiveness of a cilice.
- Churches need more cowbell in their parish choirs.
- How to safely tear out your eye and dispose of it in an environmentally responsible manner rather than have your whole body cast into hell.
- Pope Francis: master of colloquial speech.
- Recycling the faith: 15 environmentally friendly uses for old missals.
- Channeling your inner transgender athlete.
- How to confess the sins of others in the confessional.
- Umptine reasons why Catholics should vote for fallen away Catholic politicians.
- How to be a LGBTQQIP2SA+ hermit in the modern Church.
- Naming your guardian angel.
- Satan's redeeming qualities.
- The Woke Mysteries of the Rosary by Justin Trudeau.
- My iPhone is a sacramental.
- Baron Harkonnen: model of modern virtue.
- Parking your salvation in the driveway of Father James Martin.
- The Lord's Prayer rewritten by a devotee of Ardhanarisvara, the androgynous form of Shiva and his consort Parvati.
- Dismantling patriarchy in a post-Vatican II era of queer liberation theological priorities and emerging hyper-egalitarian quasi-rational psycho-physical non-normative neo-pagan norms.
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... you rarely (if ever) hear the following phrases. "Party like it's A.D. 1570!" "We should sing more plainchant at this parish." "I'd like to thank the choir for their sublime rendition of the Mass For Five Voices by William Byrd." "I just love the way the four torchbearers process in with such dignity." "People treat the Host like a snack. I think it's time we went back to communion on the tongue." "My entire family goes to Confession every week." "We need a central Tabernacle on the altar." "The altar servers' lace cottas are so beautiful." "I just love Father Steve's sermons about the Real Presence and living a Eucharistic life." "People are leaving in droves for Saint Pius X Parish and the reverent Mass there. Do you think we're doing something wrong here at Harvey Milk Parish?" "I'm thrilled that the design for the new church includes a choir loft....
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In a movie theatre, you genuflect before entering the aisle to take a seat. Riding a bus, sitting in class or at the doctor's office, and/or when watching TV, you rest your hands palms down on your thighs, finger tips at your knees. You can identify each and every variety of incense used in the Mass simply by its scent. You habitually wear black socks and black dress shoes... even when wearing shorts for gym class or at the beach. You turn a perfect right angle when entering a building. You have nightmares about serving Mass at the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. You hear a bicycle bell ring and you drop to your knees. You can't resist the urge to lift a curtain from the bottom. You have a copy of Ceremonies of the Roman Rite Described by Adrian Fortescue on your smartphone for recreational reading. You have a copy of Ritual Notes (11th Edition) on your smartphone for recreational reading. As a torchbearer, you can carry a processional candle without spilling one dr...
TRUE PARTICIPATION IN THE MASS
"I was gathered into the offering of the Son to the Father. I participated in the self-offering of God today."
Every effort is made herein this blog to conform to the teaching of the Church - Quod ubique, quod semper, quod ab omnibus creditum est. Comments are welcome.
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