That 70s Vatican Show

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Satire may be mad and anarchic, but it presupposes an admitted superiority in certain things over others; it presupposes a standard. - G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

A poke at folk whose actions past and present could invite considerably more.

(T)he real disloyalty is not speaking the truth with love. And that word “love” is not some free-floating balloon of goodwill. It’s an empty shell without the truth to fill it. In Brazil in 2013, the Holy Father encouraged young people to “make a mess.” That’s come to pass in ways surely unintended by the pope. But in the end, pastoral leaders are accountable for their words and their actions. Because, as St. Paul said so long ago, “God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” - Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap., is the Archbishop emeritus of Philadelphia

Afflict the comfortable; comfort the afflicted.

That 70s Vatican Show, a fashion extravaganza, featured designs promoting a rabid retro vibe. Organizer Fr. James Martin SJ, taking his cue from the obliquely published papal credo Facciamo un pasticcio, sought to create an evening embodying an inversion or confusion of orthodox Christian thought and practice, much like Fiducia Supplicans, Dignitas Infinita and everything written by the likes of Charles E. Curran and Hans Küng. Well, mostly everything written by Chucky und Hans.

Cardinal Fernández started the evening off with a casual stroll around Saint Peter's in a striking if not unsettling Feminence Kilt with matching footwear for that Synodaler Weg two-step.

Not one to miss an opportunity to satisfy itching ears (cf. 2 Timothy 4:3), His Feminence also announced his forthcoming book on liturgical osculations - Like A Mouth To A Flame: Heal My Mensa.


Papa Bergoglio dons a lyrical ivory coloured veil - called The Great 'S' Cape - to accentuate his Argentinian Tango-esque liturgical movement. In a fit of whimsy, his brother bishops decided to anticipate the outcome of the next conclave by dressing in matching garb, ignoring the old adage that he who enters a conclave (or fashion show) as pope leaves it as a cardinal.


American prelate Joseph W. Cardinal Tobin offers a tribute to Fiducia Supplicans and the ministry of James Martin. Nothing says pseudo-compassion like evening wear that covereth a multitude of sins. And yet! - not even a tarp of epic proportions can hide a tentative witness to the Faith.

"Think pink!", says Father Maior Tam-Vita. Gaudete Sunday will never be the same.


Her Effluence Nancy Pelosi "rose" to the occasion by modelling her own dash of pinkness. "Laetare, oh-oh... More caviar, eh?, oh-oh-oh-oh." Oh-oh!

And finally, it seemed appropriate, given recent niceties during the Weak of Christian Unity and events at the Basilica of St. Bartholomew in Rome, that the Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury was invited to exhibit the "Welby Look", a conservative-by-comparison design made of recycled shower curtains in a hue that screams 'Caution, heterodoxy ahead!'

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