New Liturgical Moments: Mass Roles Renamed

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Are we not overdue for an update to the language we use to identify liturgical personnel?

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formerly: verger
now: real-time accompaniment and navigation coordinator

formerly: thurifer
now: scentologist; localized atmospheric control specialist

formerly: boat bearer
now: special effects resource manager

formerly: crucifer
now: visual effects operator

formerly: torchbearer
now: tactical illumination specialist

formerly: altar server
now: system operations attendant

formerly: master of ceremonies
now: senior worship consultant and team management specialist

formerly: celebrant
now: principal worship operator

formerly: sacristan
now: resource acquisition, maintenance and support manager

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Admittedly, it may take awhile for some of the new titles to catch on.

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P.S. - A very Happy 18th Anniversary to the good people at The New Liturgical Movement!

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There is but one thing of real value - to cultivate truth and justice, and to live without anger in the midst of lying and unjust men.

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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

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All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.