Poking Fun At The Familiar
- Impremature: notification that a book was published before it was properly vetted.
- Bans of Marriage: matrimonial no-nos.
- Cardinal virtues: prelates of a feather flocking together.
- Minor propers: most ignored chants sung by well-behaved youths.
- DEI: diversity, equity and inclusivity as designed by God (Dei), not by man.
- Rude screen: profane behaviour blocker.
- Fumarole veil: large scarf that protects its wearer from clouds of incense.
- Pipe organ: heavy metal church style.
- Hoary water: what the holy water font contains when it's not cleaned on a regular basis.
- The Best of Fr. James Martin: see oxymoron.
- Communion-in-the-hand-grenade: see nay palm.
- Cannon laws: rules of engagement for warring Texas nun and bishop.
- Diocease: wilted ecclesiastical district.
- Krissandumb: realm of perfectly willfully woefully blissfully ignorant religionists. "Kriss" - slang for crisp, meaning perfect or ideal + "and dumb".
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Cantius/NLM [ 4 min read ] Some communicants make things interesting (...tricky, delicate, awkward, awesome...) at The Communion. Now don't get the wrong idea. Spoofing one's brothers' and sisters' behaviour is not meant to be proof of one's own moral or spiritual superiority. There's always a need to keep in mind the heart of another when lampooning (or celebrating) the externals, as curious or as laudable as those externals might be. The Moving Target: either the head or the tongue is moving a mile a minute. A good patener knows how to tame the fidget. See also #18: The Rubberneck. The Obstacle Course: fingertips touching the chin or mouth making it difficult for the patener to place the paten beneath the chin. The Curtain: face is completely covered with a veil. The NOFB (Not Open For Business): closed eyes, closed mouth; despite the need for a gentle prompt, typically a deeply reverent person. The Taker: wants to steal the Host from the priest. Note to commu...
... you rarely (if ever) hear the following phrases. "Party like it's A.D. 1570!" "We should sing more plainchant at this parish." "I'd like to thank the choir for their sublime rendition of the Mass For Five Voices by William Byrd." "I just love the way the four torchbearers process in with such dignity." "People treat the Host like a snack. I think it's time we went back to communion on the tongue." "My entire family goes to Confession every week." "We need a central Tabernacle on the altar." "The altar servers' lace cottas are so beautiful." "I just love Father Steve's sermons about the Real Presence and living a Eucharistic life." "People are leaving in droves for Saint Pius X Parish and the reverent Mass there. Do you think we're doing something wrong here at Harvey Milk Parish?" "I'm thrilled that the design for the new church includes a choir loft....
Two copies of the St. Gregory's Prayer Book (SGPB) arrived a few days ago. It is a lovely work replete with beautiful devotions drawn from the English Patrimony. Both Ordinariate and diocesan Catholics would do well to acquire a copy to access its riches. The SGPB is "a collaborative venture" of the three personal ordinariates and the Anglicanorum Coetibus Society . A blurb from the Ignatius Press site where one can go to purchase copies: https://www.ignatius.com/St-Gregorys-Prayer-Book-P3228.aspx The St Gregory's Prayer Book is a beautifully produced leatherette prayer book compiled by the Ordinariates established by Pope Benedict XVI and drawing on the riches of the Anglican liturgical heritage and the exquisite Cranmerian language of the Book of Common Prayer to further enrich the panoply of Catholic liturgy and devotion. The text includes ancient English collects, introits and hymns available together for the first time for the whole Church...
In a movie theatre, you genuflect before entering the aisle to take a seat. Riding a bus, sitting in class or at the doctor's office, and/or when watching TV, you rest your hands palms down on your thighs, finger tips at your knees. You can identify each and every variety of incense used in the Mass simply by its scent. You habitually wear black socks and black dress shoes... even when wearing shorts for gym class or at the beach. You turn a perfect right angle when entering a building. You have nightmares about serving Mass at the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. You hear a bicycle bell ring and you drop to your knees. You can't resist the urge to lift a curtain from the bottom. You have a copy of Ceremonies of the Roman Rite Described by Adrian Fortescue on your smartphone for recreational reading. You have a copy of Ritual Notes (11th Edition) on your smartphone for recreational reading. As a torchbearer, you can carry a processional candle without spilling one dr...
TRUE PARTICIPATION IN THE MASS
"I was gathered into the offering of the Son to the Father. I participated in the self-offering of God today."
FEATURED SCRIPTURE | Revelation 7:9-12
AFTER this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels stood round the throne and round the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God for ever and ever! Amen.”
THE GOLDEN ARROW
May the most holy, most sacred, most adorable, most incomprehensible and unutterable Name of God be always praised, blessed, loved, adored and glorified in Heaven, on earth, and under the earth, by all the creatures of God, and by the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ, in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar. Amen.
FEATURED QUOTE
When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear. ― Thomas Sowell
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