Churchy Churchiness: purposefully reproposing words for parochial purposes.

  1. Novice Ordo Missay: a misspoken line only a novice would make.
  2. Crucifur: crucifer arm hair; see also - fire hazard.
  3. Sacramentalist: psychic altar server who can anticipate liturgical needs.
  4. Jesuit: see protestant.
  5. Synod (sin+nod): assent to sin.
  6. Fast: how quickly some people give up Mass for Lent.
  7. Thurifur: thurifer arm hair; see also - fire hazard.
  8. Boat Buoy: floatation device for the Barque of Peter.*
  9. Choir Director: see pope.
  10. Pope: see choir director.
  11. Walsingham: site of a major shrine; not to be confused with a dancing pig (waltzing ham).
  12. Nonsense: cheap incense unfit for Catholic liturgy.
  13. Casshock: a tawdry or tattered cassock.
  14. Alp: high church alb.
  15. Maff: awkward liturgy; High Maff: very awkward liturgy.
  16. 1962 Missile Romanum: liturgical object that causes heterodox prelates to freak out.
  17. "Between a Roche and a hard place": liturgical twilight zone.
  18. Collect: prayer favoured by church fundraisers and financial committees.
  19. Biretta: clergyman's weapon of choice.
  20. Credence table: liturgical buffet.
*Westcoast Canadian pronunciation: boy.

Comments

Post a Comment

Your comments will be appreciated and posted if 1) they are on topic and 2) preserve decorum.

Stand by your word.

Popular Posts

Sept-Ember Days

Image
In the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Saint Peter, the September Ember Days are the traditional Autumn Ember Days, observed on the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday following the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 14). They remain part of the Ordinariate's liturgical patrimony and are specifically encouraged for prayer, fasting, repentance, thanksgiving for the harvest, and prayers for vocations. For 2026, those days (Embertide) fall on: Wednesday, September 16 Friday, September 18 Saturday, September 19 The Ordinariate explains that the September Ember Days are associated with the grape harvest, directing our gratitude toward the wine that becomes the Precious Blood in the Holy Eucharist. They are also traditional times to pray for priests, deacons, and future vocations. Discipline Regarding discipline, the Ordinariate notes that Ember Friday is a day of obligatory abstinence from meat. The faithful are also encouraged to undertake additional fasting, prayer...
Read more

Walking Through The Mass: the Credo

Image
Attendees of the Ordinariate Mass habitually pray the Nicene Creed during the Sunday Mass. Since becoming a regular at the Ordinariate Mass, I am reminded every week how blessed we in the Ordinariate are by having a beautiful translation of the Creed to pray. While still a diocesan Catholic, I remember with joy and satisfaction the introduction of the revised (some might say a restored) English translation of the Creed for the Ordinary Form of the Mass. When I left diocesan precincts for the Ordinariate, I found the Credo as prayed in Divine Worship (DW), the Mass of the Ordinariate, to be awkward at first, though strangely attractive. The DW version motivated me to slow down and revisit each phrase. Having been exposed to and shaped by the Credo of Divine Worship for a few years now, I cannot imagine returning to even the improved English text of the Ordinary Form Liturgy. The Nicene Creed professed in the Ordinariate, in that older liturgical dialect, is lyrical, confide...
Read more

The Pynson Ballad concerning the Story of Walsingham

Image
Screenshot | Artistic impression of Medieval Priory built beside the Holy House (Denny) The Foundation of the Chapel of Walsingham The Pynson Ballad, published by Richard Pynson circa A.D. 1485* https://www.walsinghamanglicanmedieval.org.uk/pynson.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20080725010750/http://www.walsinghamanglicanarchives.org.uk/pynsonballad.htm http://devotiontoourlady.com/shrine-of-walsingham.html Of this chapell se here the fundacyon, Bylded the yere of crystes incarnacyon, A thousande complete syxty and one, The tyme of sent Edward kyng of this region. Beholde and se, ye goostly folkes all, Which to this place have devocyon When ye to Our Lady askynge socoure call Desyrynge here hir helpe in your trybulacyon: Of this hir chapell ye may se the fundacyon. If ye wyll this table overse and rede Howe by myracle it was founded indede. A noble wydowe, somtyme lady of this towne, Called Rychold, in lyvynge full vertuous, Desyred of Oure Lady a petycyowne Hir to honoure with some w...
Read more

The Personal Ordinariates: Unity, Diversity, Harmony.

Image
St. John the Baptist Catholic Church, Bridgeport, PA In 2023, Monsignor Keith Newton, then head of the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham, coined the term “realized ecumenism” to describe how the Ordinariates created by the Apostolic constitution Anglicanorum Coetibus offer a welcoming path for those seeking the fullness of the Faith. https://ewtn.co.uk/article-the-head-of-the-ordinariate-for-former-anglicans-in-england-and-wales-assesses-its-past-present-and-future/ The Personal Ordinariates represent one of the most quietly remarkable ecumenical achievements of the last century: a form of unity that does not require amnesia. They embody a model of reconciliation in which distinct traditions are not dissolved but transfigured — brought into full communion without losing the theological, liturgical, and pastoral instincts that shaped them. The Personal Ordinariates are a quiet work of the Holy Spirit, gathering what was once separated and transforming it into communion. Th...
Read more

Finding True Friendship in the Mass

Image
St Mary the Virgin Parish, Arlington, TX At the Mass we discover that friendship is not something we manufacture for ourselves. Rather, it is a gift received while seeking God together. In an age marked by loneliness and fleeting connections, many people long for genuine friendship. Social media promises constant contact, yet countless hearts remain isolated. True friendship requires more than shared interests or casual conversation. It is founded upon a common pursuit of what is good, true, and beautiful. For Christians, there is no greater place to discover such friendship than in the Holy Mass. We come not to socialize but to worship Almighty God. The focus is not on ourselves but upon the sacred mysteries unfolding at the altar. Yet it is precisely this common orientation toward God that creates the deepest form of human fellowship. The liturgy teaches us that we are not isolated individuals approaching God alone. We gather as members of Christ's Body. Together we confess our s...
Read more

The Voice of God In Holy Scripture

Image
The voice of God in Holy Scripture is never a mere sound; it is the living self‑communication of the Lord who speaks to His people in order to create, judge, redeem, and sanctify. Across the canon, God’s voice is portrayed as both transcendent and intimate—majestic in power yet directed personally to the human heart. The Voice that Creates and Commands From the opening lines of Genesis, God’s voice is the medium of creation: “And God said…” (Gen 1). Divine speech is performative; it brings reality into being. Scripture thus presents the world not as a random emergence but as the ordered result of God’s articulate will. The same creative voice later gives the Law at Sinai (Exod 19–20), revealing that the One who speaks worlds into existence also speaks covenantal commands that shape human life. The Voice that Reveals and Interprets The prophets repeatedly describe their vocation as hearing and transmitting the word of the LORD (Jer 1:4–10; Isa 6). God’s voice is revelatory: it discloses...
Read more

POPE LEO XIV Magnifica Humanitas

Even in the darkest nights, the Lord raises up men and women who refuse to give up, who persevere in doing good, who protect the vulnerable and open pathways to reconciliation. The memory of the saints, righteous people and the oft-forgotten peacemakers, show us that grace does not magically eliminate conflict, but instead it inspires active resistance to evil and an astonishing creativity in doing good” (paragraph 211).

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

I doubt not then but innocence shall make false accusation blush, and tyranny tremble at patience.

WORDS TO THE WHYS

You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible. Thomas Sowell

ANONYMOUS

The tourist seeks comfort; the pilgrim seeks truth.