Churchy Churchiness: purposefully reproposing words for parochial purposes.
- Novice Ordo Missay: a misspoken line only a novice would make.
- Crucifur: crucifer arm hair; see also - fire hazard.
- Sacramentalist: psychic altar server who can anticipate liturgical needs.
- Jesuit: see protestant.
- Synod (sin+nod): assent to sin.
- Fast: how quickly some people give up Mass for Lent.
- Thurifur: thurifer arm hair; see also - fire hazard.
- Boat Buoy: floatation device for the Barque of Peter.*
- Choir Director: see pope.
- Pope: see choir director.
- Walsingham: site of a major shrine; not to be confused with a dancing pig (waltzing ham).
- Nonsense: cheap incense unfit for Catholic liturgy.
- Casshock: a tawdry or tattered cassock.
- Alp: high church alb.
- Maff: awkward liturgy; High Maff: very awkward liturgy.
- 1962 Missile Romanum: liturgical object that causes heterodox prelates to freak out.
- "Between a Roche and a hard place": liturgical twilight zone.
- Collect: prayer favoured by church fundraisers and financial committees.
- Biretta: clergyman's weapon of choice.
- Credence table: liturgical buffet.
*Westcoast Canadian pronunciation: boy.
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In a movie theatre, you genuflect before entering the aisle to take a seat. Riding a bus, sitting in class or at the doctor's office, and/or when watching TV, you rest your hands palms down on your thighs, finger tips at your knees. You can identify each and every variety of incense used in the Mass simply by its scent. You habitually wear black socks and black dress shoes... even when wearing shorts for gym class or at the beach. You turn a perfect right angle when entering a building. You have nightmares about serving Mass at the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. You hear a bicycle bell ring and you drop to your knees. You can't resist the urge to lift a curtain from the bottom. You have a copy of Ceremonies of the Roman Rite Described by Adrian Fortescue on your smartphone for recreational reading. You have a copy of Ritual Notes (11th Edition) on your smartphone for recreational reading. As a torchbearer, you can carry a processional candle without spilling one dr...
TRUE PARTICIPATION IN THE MASS
"I was gathered into the offering of the Son to the Father. I participated in the self-offering of God today."
FEATURED SCRIPTURE | Revelation 7:9-12
AFTER this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels stood round the throne and round the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God for ever and ever! Amen.”
THE GOLDEN ARROW
May the most holy, most sacred, most adorable, most incomprehensible and unutterable Name of God be always praised, blessed, loved, adored and glorified in Heaven, on earth, and under the earth, by all the creatures of God, and by the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus Christ, in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar. Amen.
FEATURED QUOTE
When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear. ― Thomas Sowell
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