Cirque du C of E.

Screenshot: Catholic Herald

A circus ride in the heart of a (formerly Catholic) cathedral? What's next, a water slide into a baptismal pool? During the period of installation - of the ride not the bishop - ten thousand of twenty thousand visitors sent themselves down skid row.

You can bet that more than a few folk got a shock when they searched online for 'helter skelter' and he who shall not be named popped up.

Overheard in the pews:

• "Whoa,... that's one impressive clock!" "Yeah, and I love it when the cuckoo appears."
• "Nice pulpit."
• "The Right Reverend Meyrick will be speaking on the tower of Babel."
• "There was an ol' woman who lived in a... ."
• "And if he sees his shadow there'll be six more hours of sermon... ."
• "Amazingly, no one noticed the huge cone in the middle of the cathedral until the verger bumped into it."
• "The bishop models his new miter. Reactions are mixed."
• "Parishioners were amazed how quickly the massive stalagmite formed beneath a previously unknown leak in the roof."

Time for a cleansing.

P.S. - Please return to the Catholic Church our cathedral, sans le cirque.