10 Mostly Useless Conversations Of A Moral Kind

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Pearls before... .

1. Philanderer.
Bob: "Hey Phil, would you like to come to Mass this Sunday? You've been saying how much you'd like to meet new people you can trust."
Phil: "No thanks, Bob. When I said 'trust', I meant people I could trust to never call me after a one-night stand."

2. Opportunist.
Mary: "Daryl is so respectful of others and is so generous with his time."
Tiffany: "Yawn. I want a man who gives me lots of expensive stuff and doesn't mind me seeing other guys."

3. Arrested development.
John: "Hey Debbie, would you like to go for a walk this afternoon? I hear there are some musicians playing at the bandshell in the park."
Debbie: "Naw. I'm gonna face paint my cat, take videos, and post them on TikTok."

4. Delusion.
Pete: "I thought you said you are a practicing Catholic. Why do you do hard drugs?"
Chris: "Hey man, don't judge me. I do drugs because drugs make me a better me."

5. Narcissism.
Melanie: "Hi Todd, would you like to go to a movie tonight?"
Todd: "Uhhh, yeaaaah. I can't. I'll be surfing dating sites."

6. Assumptions.
Fr. Cornwall: "When was the last time you went to confession, Pat?"
Pat: "Father, confession is so passé. Stop slut-shaming me!"

7. Priorities.
Isabella: "Are you coming to Mass?"
Julio: "There's a pickleball tournament I'm going to check out. So, no."

8. Sloth.
Karl: "Hey Heidi, would you like to come to Evensong later?"
Heidi: "I've gotta paint my nails, Ken... er,... Karter,... I mean, Karl. Sorry. Raincheck."

9. Control freak.
Sister Carol: "Why are we moving the tabernacle to the basement? Somehow that seems so disrespectful."
Deacon Jeb: "Because I say so."

10. Just reward.
Deacon Jeb: "Why are you parked in my spot?!"
Lisa: "Because Sister Carol told me to."

The object of each of the above duets might be obvious. One might imagine a third line to each couplet. That third line might yield an immediate conclusion or a slower and subtler verdict, a sarcastic jab, a retraction, or a retreat into timidity. One might ask, "Who is at fault?" after pondering each couplet. Perhaps one might see each duet as something of a lens through which may be viewed and evaluated an aspect of one's own circumstance or actions.

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