25 New Incense Blends For Catholic Parishes
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| AI generated image. Can there be such a thing as too much incense? |
Some blends might catch on. Yes? No? Maybe?
- The James Martin Blend... produces a rainbow coloured cloud that induces a bacchanalian fervour in Mass-attendees. The JM Blend tends to exacerbate a misplaced sense of entitlement.
- The Bergoglio Blend... is competition for The James Martin Blend, with additional negative ecumenical side-effects.
- The Müller Blend... is a traditional blend known for an ability to inspire clear thinking and to expose heterodoxy.
- The Big Pulpit Blend... reaches those thirsty for truth, goodness and beauty.
- The SSPX Blend... is an engaging array of scents with an angry finish.
- The Anglicanorum Coetibus Ordinariate Blend... is heaven on earth!
- The Biden Blend... is known to induce confusion, chaos and scandal, even in small amounts.
- The Pelosi Blend... is the blend of choice for Democrat funerals that tends to attract an unwanted rodent commonly associated with the bubonic plague.
- The Athanasia Schneider Blend... is a spicey mix of plainspokenness, passion for truth and disdain for cheap religion.
- The Bugnini Blend... is used to sanitize liturgies and leaves churches with a lingering latrine-like odor.
- The Zuhlsdorf Blend... induces a hankering for the finer things in life.
- The Covid Vaccine Blend... is a dubious mix that often causes severe negative side-effects, but people keep using it anyway.
- The National Catholic Reporter Blend... is a toxic concoction that induces stupidity and reinforces ignorance among its users.
- The Pope Benedict XVI Blend... attracts many vocations to the priesthood and religious life.
- The Saint Teresa of Calcutta Blend... just a pinch makes the world a whole lot better place.
- The FSSP Blend... is like the SSPX Blend, only without the angry finish. Known for its ability to foster reverence and love for the Holy Eucharist in parishioners.
- The Synodal Way (Der Synodale Weg) Blend. Discontinued due to its harmful spiritual side-effects.
- The Bland Blend... is an inoffensive hypoallergenic non-GMO concoction suitable for most diocesan parish liturgies.
- The Cupich Blend... is whatever you want it to be.
- The Greta Thunberg Blend... is a curious mixture of lemon rinds, eggplant, oatmeal and woke piety. Suitable for large gatherings of nature worshippers, self loathers, depopulation enthusiasts and other bitter socialists.
- The Justin Trudeau Blend... contains generous amounts of hypocrisy, woe-is-me manipulation and indifference. It's the perfect blend for the parishes replete with free speech hating narcissists who delight in the misery of others while pretending to care about the materially impoverished. Thus, The JT Blend is a favourite with liberal religionists and despotic Liberal Party politicians.
- The Cardinal Fernández Blend... helps to create a chilling atmosphere wherein can be hidden unusual thoughts about kissing and blessings as well as indifference to abuse survivors.
- The Candy Man Blend... releases a massively sweet aroma "that makes the world taste good" and the liturgy seem irrelevant. See: The James Martin Blend.
- The Onion Blend... produces a pungent fog that brings tears to your eyes so that you can appear to look extra sorrowful for your sins.
- The Pope Saint John Paul II Blend. A stellar concoction known for its ability to foster authentic piety, authentic morality and holiness in believers. Proponents of Liberation Theology tend to flee when it is employed.
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HEBREWS 12
God disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
PSALM 37
FRET not thyself because of the ungodly : neither be thou envious against the evil doers. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass : and be withered even as the green herb. Put thou thy trust in the Lord, and be doing good : dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
ST BERNARD OF CLAIRVAUX
There are those who seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge; that is curiosity. There are those who seek knowledge to be known by others; that is vanity. There are those who seek knowledge in order to serve; that is Love.
THOMAS SOWELL
It is amazing how many people think that they can answer an argument by attributing bad motives to those who disagree with them. Using this kind of reasoning, you can believe or not believe anything about anything, without having to bother to deal with facts or logic.
MARCUS AURELIUS
There is but one thing of real value - to cultivate truth and justice, and to live without anger in the midst of lying and unjust men.
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