Life In The Confession Line
- The Terpsichorean: can't sit still in the pew; shifts from being seated to kneeling to standing every couple of minutes.
- The Artful Dozer: half-asleep, leans against the wall or a neighbour; needs an occasional 'psst' to prompt him along.
- Mr. Fidget: weak bladder.
- The Chatterbox: attempts to engage others in small talk. You can almost bet she's gonna confess to gossipping.
- The Judge: whose penetrating gaze could cause a saint to wilt with guilt.
- The Timekeeper (aka The Tracker): her eyes are constantly on her watch timing each penitent in the box. Probably worked the clock during high school basketball games.
- The Narrator: rehearses his examination of conscience out loud.
- Mr. Scruples: you can practically see the sweat draining off his forehead.
- The Devotionalist: rigorously works the rosary beads, and whose whispering of prayers is almost as annoying as an ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) video of someone slurping hot soup.
- The Revert: hasn't been to confession in a decade and needs reassurance that the priest isn't hard of hearing and won't shout back his sins.
- The Page Flipperer: Who knew a penance book or devotional booklet could sound like a deck of cards being shuffled?
- The Leap Frogger: aka, the Queue Jumper; elicits looks of strong disapproval from others.
- The Saint: the curtains are drawn (veil), the head is bowed, hands are held palms together at the breast, and she is wearing more sacramentals than you can count. You had better hope that she isn't ahead of you because anything you say will be fifty times worse than anything that she confesses.
- The Phonerer: is constantly on her phone, on social media, takes selfies while waiting, and is constantly primping herself (...to what end is anyone's guess... and, frankly, who cares?).
- The Pilgrim: waits in line on his knees, and shuffles along... on his knees (see #13).
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PSALM 37
Keep innocency, and take heed unto the thing that is right : for that shall bring a man peace at the last.
POPE LEO XIV
The right to freedom of expression, freedom of conscience, religious freedom, and even the right to life are being restricted in the name of other so-called new rights, with the result that the very framework of human rights is losing its vitality and creating space for force and oppression. This occurs when each right becomes self-referential, and especially when it becomes disconnected from reality, nature, and truth.
ST AUGUSTINE
The truth is like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.
SAINT PHILIP NERI
The greatness of our love of God must be tested by the desire we have of suffering for His love.
ANTONIN SCALIA
Knowledge is one thing, virtue is another; good sense is not conscience, refinement is not humility. Liberal Education makes the gentleman. It is well to be a gentleman, it is well to have a cultivated intellect, a delicate taste, a candid, equitable, dispassionate mind, a noble and courteous bearing in the conduct of life. These are the natural qualities of a large knowledge, they are the objects of a university. But they are no guarantee for sanctity of even for conscientiousness; they may attach to the man of the world, to the profligate, to the heartless.
MARCUS AURELIUS
There is but one thing of real value - to cultivate truth and justice, and to live without anger in the midst of lying and unjust men.
MARK TWAIN
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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