WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
I doubt not then but innocence shall make false accusation blush, and tyranny tremble at patience.
21st Century Church Furnishings And Other Stuff With Limited Appeal
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| Thuriferobot Mark II |
Moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength is shown in levity.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
- Ben Hogan Golf-themed Altar Frontal: style and... comfort?
- AI Confessional: spontaneous and comprehensive composition of penances.
- Kevlar® Cotta (could come in handy in some countries).
- Memory Foam Padded Kneelers.
- La-Z-Boy® Celebrant's Reclinable Sedile.
- Plasma Processional Torches: good for illuminating the Gospel and for welding.
- There-And-Back-Again Floor Strip Lighting: to guide communicants to receive communion and then guide them back to their pews (see also: Communion Conveyor Belt).
- Autonomous Robotic Thurifer (A.R.T.): able to produce copious amounts of smoke and operates in extreme conditions (e.g., Los Angeles Religious Education Congress).
- Communion Conveyor Belt: for slow moving communicants to board.
- Heelys Acolyte Skate Shoes: for fleet-footed altar servers.
- Temperature Controlled Chasuble: for comfort all the livelong day.
- Spill-proof Chalice: for those less dexterous communicants with a drinking problem of sorts.
- Portable Credence Table: liturgical catering trolly. Motorized version includes Bluetooth® remote control.
- Altar Heads-up Display: renders hard copy missals a thing of the past; voice command operations for page turns and instant resizing of text to assist priests with vision needs.
- Vertical Retractable Altar Rail (VeRe AltRa): lowers flush into the floor for Novus Ordo liturgies, and rises and locks into position for 1962 Missal and Divine Worship liturgies.
- Self Adjusting Stole: guaranteed to never slip off the shoulders or feel tight around the midriff.
- Airborne Acolyte: a drone for delivering altar breads and wine, lavabo bowl, ewer and towel to the celebrant; multiple accessories include Sanctus bells, aspergillum and extendable paten.
- Mandible Lector: a holographic projection that can be programmed to look and sound like the saint-of-the-day.
- Touchless Holy Water Font: no more dipping; hold your fingers under the sensor to receive a quick splash (fun fact: someone constructed this device: https://www.bbroughton.com/product/ST/hwd/holy-water-touchless-automatic-d
- Hydraulic Adjustable Pews: change the floor-to-seat height to avoid leg cramping or adjust to help little ones get a better view of the sanctuary.
- Electric Virge: provides a convincing reminder to encourage conformity among those who attempt to jump the confession or communion queue.
Popular Posts
Air Martin It seems that God’s signs are going unnoticed by those whom the lay faithful rely on for guidance. What signs, you ask? Let’s give credit to writers who are capturing what should by now be the most obvious sign—or collection of signs—of God speaking to His people, His Church. Brian Williams @LiturgyGuy Yesterday Charlotte ordained 10 men to the priesthood, a record high in the diocese’s 54 year history. Interestingly, 8 of the 10 ordained came from parishes directly impacted by Bishop Martin’s restrictions against the TLM and/or altar rail ban. Meanwhile, two of the mega parishes in Charlotte, both of which fit the liturgical style +Martin favors—including one with over 12,000 registered families—haven’t produced a priestly vocation since well before COVID. Will this vocations boom continue in the coming years under Bishop Martin? Also interesting to note that one of the twelve ordained this past week by the FSSP also grew up here in Charlotte serving at St. Ann’s TLM. Bisho...
Walter Joseph Kovacs (Rorschach) by CohenAW "Do you see what I see? Why don't you see what I see?! I want you to see what I see!" Test #1 What a diocesan Catholic sees: "Liturgical dance." Quod sodalis FSSPX videt: "Blasphemia!" What a charismatic Catholic sees: "Gift of tongues." Test #2 What a diocesan Catholic sees: "Sign of Peace." Quod sodalis FSSPX videt: "Abusus liturgicus!" What a charismatic Catholic sees: "Baptism by fire." Test #3 What a diocesan Catholic sees: "Synodality." Quod sodalis FSSPX videt: "Haeresis!" What a charismatic Catholic sees: "Spirit of Vatican II." Test #4 What a diocesan Catholic sees: "Spectacle!" Quod sodalis FSSPX videt: "Caelum in terra!" What a charismatic Catholic sees: "Um... uh... zabbababaha quaamaaaa feraae auteaaam." Test #5 What a diocesan Catholic sees: "Lay presider." Quod sodalis FSSPX videt: ...
Adapted from a post published in 2018 - edited and expanded JULY 2023 [ 15 minute read ] Many Catholics are confused. Why? How? Catholics are distracted by liturgical infighting and, consequently, are suffering a confusion of identity. The devil knows that the Mass is the source and summit of the Christian life (LG 11 totius vitae christianae fontem et culmen ). Attack the Mass - or undermine human beings' understanding of what the Mass is and should be - and you divide and conquer, sow confusion, and rob people of their dignity and identity. How might we ease the confusion, promote faith, hope and love, and thwart the devil's assaults? We must be allied to Jesus Christ. We meet Jesus in the Eucharistic Liturgy. Divine Worship, the venerable English Mass of the Personal Ordinariates, offers an authentic via media or middle way past the infighting and confusion, and moves man toward communion with God. Divine Worship affirms all that is good and true and beautiful that is also...
The beauty of Catholic ritual action in the Mass is theological before it is aesthetic. Its gestures, postures, and ordered movements arise from—and reveal—the Church’s participation in the Paschal Mystery . The liturgy is not a human construction but the self‑manifestation of Christ the High Priest acting through His Body. Thus, ritual action becomes a sacramental epiphany of divine life. At the foundation lies the Church’s conviction that the Incarnate Word sanctifies not only the soul but the body. Because Christ redeemed human nature in its fullness, the body becomes capable of expressing supernatural realities. This is why the faithful stand to hear the Gospel, kneel in adoration, strike the breast in repentance, and trace the Sign of the Cross over themselves. These are not symbolic flourishes but anthropological-sacramental acts: the body becomes the instrument through which the believer enters the mystery. Ritual action thus forms the Christian according to the logic of the In...
The Holy Eucharist, the Sacrament of Sacraments, is celebrated in many distinct and beautiful ways. Catholics are familiar with the Ordinary Form (Novus Ordo). Fewer are familiar with the 1962 Latin Mass (Missa Antiquior). Our eastern Catholic brethren offer the Divine Liturgy (Byzantine, Ukrainian Greek), the Raza (Chaldean), the Holy Qurbono (Maronite, Syro-Malankara), the Holy Qurbāna (Syro-Malabar), the Badarak (Armenian), and more. In the personal ordinariates created by the apostolic constitution Anglicanorum Coetibus , the Mass is known as Divine Worship. The names we give to the sacred Liturgy say something about the nature of the Eucharist, our orientation to God, and the Church's mission. Of course, we also know the Liturgy as the Eucharist (εὐχαριστία), meaning 'thanksgiving'. 'Mass', a nickname of sorts derived from the Latin word for dismissal in the Mass—'ite missa est' (Go, it is the dismissal. Go, you are sent.)—refers to the mission of the ...
Procession of the Blessed Sacrament | Corpus Christi The Lesson | Requiem for Monsignor Peter Wilkinson, PH | D. Duchesne Boat Bearer, Entrance Procession | Andrea Collins Photography Solemn High Mass | Andrea Collins Photography First Communion | D. Duchesne Holy Matrimony | Andrea Collins Photography Solemn High Mass | D. Duchesne Lift high the Cross! Elevation of the Precious Body | Andrea Collins Photography Elevation of the Precious Blood | Andrea Collins Photography Holy Baptism | D. Duchesne Lectors at the Easter Vigil 2026 | D. Duchesne Midnight Mass | D. Duchesne The Churching of Women | Procession to the Altar
POPE LEO XIV Magnifica Humanitas
Even in the darkest nights, the Lord raises up men and women who refuse to give up, who persevere in doing good, who protect the vulnerable and open pathways to reconciliation. The memory of the saints, righteous people and the oft-forgotten peacemakers, show us that grace does not magically eliminate conflict, but instead it inspires active resistance to evil and an astonishing creativity in doing good” (paragraph 211).
THOMAS SOWELL
Ours may become the first civilization destroyed, not by the power of our enemies, but by the ignorance of our teachers and the dangerous nonsense they are teaching our children. In an age of artificial intelligence, they are creating artificial stupidity.
MAYA ANGELOU
You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.
PSALM 6
Depart from me, all you workers of evil; for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies shall be ashamed and sorely troubled; they shall turn back, and be put to shame in a moment.
WORDS TO THE WHYS
Fear not the chatter of the insane who derive pleasure from sowing malice; for their portion is the pit of hell.
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