GEORGE ORWELL

In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

21st Century Church Furnishings And Other Stuff With Limited Appeal

Thuriferobot Mark II

Moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength is shown in levity.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
  1. Ben Hogan Golf-themed Altar Frontal: style and... comfort?
  2. AI Confessional: spontaneous and comprehensive composition of penances.
  3. Kevlar® Cotta (could come in handy in some countries).
  4. Memory Foam Padded Kneelers.
  5. La-Z-Boy® Celebrant's Reclinable Sedile.
  6. Plasma Processional Torches: good for illuminating the Gospel and for welding.
  7. There-And-Back-Again Floor Strip Lighting: to guide communicants to receive communion and then guide them back to their pews (see also: Communion Conveyor Belt).
  8. Autonomous Robotic Thurifer (A.R.T.): able to produce copious amounts of smoke and operates in extreme conditions (e.g., Los Angeles Religious Education Congress).
  9. Communion Conveyor Belt: for slow moving communicants to board.
  10. Heelys Acolyte Skate Shoes: for fleet-footed altar servers.
  11. Temperature Controlled Chasuble: for comfort all the livelong day.
  12. Spill-proof Chalice: for those less dexterous communicants with a drinking problem of sorts.
  13. Portable Credence Table: liturgical catering trolly. Motorized version includes Bluetooth® remote control.
  14. Altar Heads-up Display: renders hard copy missals a thing of the past; voice command operations for page turns and instant resizing of text to assist priests with vision needs.
  15. Vertical Retractable Altar Rail (VeRe AltRa): lowers flush into the floor for Novus Ordo liturgies, and rises and locks into position for 1962 Missal and Divine Worship liturgies.
  16. Self Adjusting Stole: guaranteed to never slip off the shoulders or feel tight around the midriff.
  17. Airborne Acolyte: a drone for delivering altar breads and wine, lavabo bowl, ewer and towel to the celebrant; multiple accessories include Sanctus bells, aspergillum and extendable paten.
  18. Mandible Lector: a holographic projection that can be programmed to look and sound like the saint-of-the-day.
  19. Touchless Holy Water Font: no more dipping; hold your fingers under the sensor to receive a quick splash (fun fact: someone constructed this device: https://www.bbroughton.com/product/ST/hwd/holy-water-touchless-automatic-d
  20. Hydraulic Adjustable Pews: change the floor-to-seat height to avoid leg cramping or adjust to help little ones get a better view of the sanctuary.
  21. Electric Virge: provides a convincing reminder to encourage conformity among those who attempt to jump the confession or communion queue.

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SAINT JOAN OF ARC

Go forward bravely. Fear nothing. Trust in God; all will be well.

SAINT ROBERT BELLARMINE

When we appeal to the throne of grace we do so through Mary, honoring God by honoring His Mother, imitating Him by exalting her, touching the most responsive chord in the sacred heart of Christ with the sweet name of Mary.

SAINT FRANCIS DE SALES

Have patience with all things - but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being. You are perfectly valuable, creative, a worthwhile person simply because you exist. And no amount of triumphs or tribulations can ever change that.

SAINT THOMAS AQUINAS

To bear with patience wrongs done to oneself is a mark of perfection, but to bear with patience wrongs done to someone else is a mark of imperfection and even of actual sin.

DOUGLAS MACARTHUR

A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.

MARCUS AURELIUS

There is but one thing of real value - to cultivate truth and justice, and to live without anger in the midst of lying and unjust men.