Offence Taken: The Weaponization of Wounds

Cain Slays Abel

1. Is your workplace beset with individuals who take offence at matters that trigger them and them alone and who then proceed to torture others?
2. Do you view the world through the lens of your wounds and feel justified in cursing others with false accusations simply because you need to feel powerful and in total control?
3. Do you inflict as much or even more harm on others than you yourself have endured?
4. Do you attempt to control circumstances—work, play, church—because you lack the ability to interact in mutually affirming ways?
5. Do you lack a sense of humour, and so playful banter becomes a threat?
6. Do you feel inadequate and looked down upon, though there is no condescension on the part of others?
7. Do you use religion or politics as a means to insulate yourself from confronting your own foibles?
8. Do you persist in projecting your anger onto others and attempt to blame others for making your life miserable?

An exasperated acquaintance recently shared workplace tensions. He expressed fear and avoidance while confronting behaviours that were clearly intended to rob him and others of the ability to express concern or even useful work-related ideas intended to improve productivity and the health of the work environment. Sadly, a couple of key players acting in a tyrannical manner are an obstacle to any improvement.

Cain was put out, to put it mildly, when God favoured Abel's offering over his. Rene Girard provides a brilliant analysis of the "founding murder" born of Cain's jealousy. Instead of celebrating the approval of his brother's gift and learning how to purify his intentions to make his offering acceptable, Cain slaughtered his brother and allied himself with the devil, a murderer from the beginning.

“By accepting to be crucified, Christ brought to light what had been ‘hidden since the foundation of the world’—the foundation itself, the unanimous murder that appeared in broad daylight for the first time on the Cross. In order to function, archaic religions need to hide their founding murder, which was being repeated continually in ritual sacrifices, thereby protecting human societies from their own violence. By revealing the founding murder, Christianity destroyed the ignorance and superstition that are indispensable to such religions. It thus made possible an advance in knowledge that was until then unimaginable.” —René Girard, “On War and Apocalypse,” First Things, August 1, 2009

These days, far too many people subscribe to a violent ideology, or as some might put it, a modern-day religion. Those who murder others in their thoughts place themselves at risk of permanently partnering with the devil.

St Matthew 5:27-30 | You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

A cycle of avoidance of the truth only deepens a person's isolation, as one misses opportunities for genuine connection and growth. Until one is willing to acknowledge shortcomings and engage authentically, one will remain trapped in a self-constructed prison of resentment and fear. The ability to express gratitude for blessings escapes such a person. Instead, he finds himself caught in a relentless loop of negativity, where even moments of joy are overshadowed by bitterness. Recognizing the need for prayerful and/or guided introspection might be the first step towards breaking free from this cycle and allowing true healing to begin.

The weaponization of wounds is the result of a reinforcement in culture and social interactions of a victim mentality that consumes honesty, i.e., the ability to be honest with oneself, and objectivity. This shift not only affects personal relationships but also influences broader societal narratives, leading to a culture where grievances are amplified and authenticity is often sacrificed. As individuals navigate this landscape, the challenge lies in fostering genuine connections while resisting the allure of a victim-centric perspective.

Small groups are particularly vulnerable to individuals who seek power and control, who work in roles that give them access to opportunities to control and manipulate others. Little attention can be given to one's salvation when one is preoccupied with the need to feel powerful. Culpability is reduced to "I'm sorry I lost my temper." Rather than accepting responsibility for falsely accusing another person of bad behaviour by resorting to name-calling and by attempting to shut down conversations with non sequiturs and other irrational behaviours, the ill-tempered and unbalanced individual dives into his comfortable trench to wait out confronting his own sins. He is incapable of saying, "I'm sorry for falsely accusing you of [...], and I'll do my best to avoid such harmful rhetoric again." The absence of confessing hurtful behaviour that actually impacts another in a negative way indicates a person is more interested in preserving control and moral superiority than admitting to his cruel behaviour. Such a person who engages in the summary execution of those who question his actions is dangerously close to perdition. This unwillingness to acknowledge one's own faults not only erodes trust but also fosters an environment where honest dialogue is stifled. Ultimately, true growth comes from humility and the courage to confront one's shortcomings head-on.